Your Worst Enemy for Achieving Health Goals

If I asked you what was the biggest obstacle to reaching your health goals, what would you say? Lack of will-power? Lack of time? Mis-education? Laziness? From my coaching experience, the biggest factor I see that stands firmly in the way of reaching one’s health goals, is perfectionism.

 

Maybe you have an idea of what health looks like: working out at the gym every morning before work, counting every calorie you consume and making sure it’s ‘on the plan,’ juicing fresh greens daily, making home-cooked meals nightly, or maybe achieving your high school body at age fifty. Now factor in your busy work schedule, an unexpected injury, numerous travel plans, maybe you have two kids or three, uncooperative weather, or a location with limited access to fresh produce. Where does that leave you? Often circumstances that don’t feel ideal for achieving this perfect idea of health leaves people unable to take any action at all.

 

As Brene Brown notes, “Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.” And even if you’re able to make it past paralysis and take the first step, many diets ultimately fail because they are unrealistic, restrictive, don’t take into account your lifestyle, and require unsustainable effort.

 

Let’s say that with the best of intentions, you power on and try to reach your pie in the sky goals. You plan to exercise every day this week after work. But your boss makes you stay late one day, you’re too exhausted to exercise the second day, and by the third, you’ve already ‘messed up,’ so why bother? Or maybe you’ve managed to make excellent food choices five days in a row and are feeling great, but then you get an upsetting phone-call and you engage in a few hours of emotional eating. Now you’ve gone ‘off the wagon’ and think that you have to start all over, which feels defeating and exhausting. You beat yourself up for not being able to ‘stick with it.’ Would you even want to try again after being so harshly berated? And doesn’t it seem likely that something will happen next week to screw up your plans too? Does any of this sound familiar?

 

So, you might ask yourself, why bother? Exactly! Why bother trying to be perfect? Perfection doesn’t exist, you’ll never reach it, so trying for it only sets you up for failure. It keeps you stuck where you are indefinitely.

 

The question then is not ‘what does perfect health look like?’ but ‘what does sustainable health look like?’ What can you do amidst your busy schedule? The answer is to include real life in your expectations. Make it part of your plan!

 

I urge my clients to take on the 90/10 principle, which is to eat what you know is good for you 90 percent of the time, and 10 percent of the time, eat whatever you want. Not only is it true that you’ll be able to reach your health goals by eating healthy 90 percent of the time, but it also changes the ‘mind game.’ Now there is no such thing as ‘falling off the wagon.’ Have a bad day? Just count it as part of your ten percent and move on! Less stress and pressure around your eating will allow for relaxation, joy, being kind to yourself, and all those things that contribute to a healthy relationship with your body. Perfectionism is often tied up in your self-worth; it’s a great excuse for self-hatred. Don’t give yourself an extra reason to beat yourself up.

 

When it comes to exercise, I often tell my clients to figure out their bare minimum amount of exercise needed to feel good, instead of their ideal. It’s amazing what some exercise will do for your confidence, energy, immune system, and your ability to exercise more. If it’s not realistic to exercise every day after a full day of work, can you walk two times instead? Shoot for that! Some exercise is always better than no exercise. Waiting for your schedule to be ideal might mean you’ll be waiting a very long time.

 

Home cooking is another area that many people find frustrating. Maybe it’s not possible in your current circumstances to cook a full healthy meal from scratch every night, but can you make one fresh homemade meal for you/your family weekly, and have leftovers or simple meals the rest of the time? There are ways to be healthy without lots of cooking (and if you don’t know what to shop for, take me up on a grocery store tour!). Imagine how nice it would be to have one home cooked meal per week and easy healthy meals the rest of the time, instead of a heap of guilt every night.

 

If you want to make healthy changes in your life, ask what’s doable right now, instead of being plagued by what’s not. What small healthy changes can you start with that feel easy and achievable? Just do those! I’ve watched many clients achieve lofty health goals by making small, simple shifts in diet and lifestyle that they can sustain.

 

If you’re a true perfectionist and you find doing less than your ideal to be very difficult, then practice imperfection. Every day, choose one thing to do imperfectly, whatever that means for you. Are you a neat-freak? Leave an unwashed dish in your sink. Did you survive? Do you still consider yourself a good person? Great! Create some freedom in your life by separating your achievements from your self-worth.

 

And remember this: What you do consistently determines your health, not the imperfect things you do now and then.

 

Cheers to the beauty of imperfection, and to your success!

 

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash