Willpower and discipline are great… for as long as they last. But when they run out (you’re having a bad day, lack of sleep, tired of the monotony of your meal plan), they’re not so helpful. Dan Buettner, author of The Blue Zones, a book based on his research with National Geographic in search of the places in the world where people live the longest, has a great quote: “Discipline is a muscle, and muscles fatigue.” Relying on willpower, especially to do something you don’t want to do, is a losing strategy in the long-run. I’m proposing a better strategy: use intrinsic motivation as your guide.
What is intrinsic motivation? 
Intrinsic motivation comes naturally from an inner desire or need rather than from an external goal, restriction, or limitation that’s often supported by punishment or reward. Behavioral psychologists have been studying this for years and have found that intrinsic motivation is the superior motivator for achievement, especially long-term achievement.
When I first start working with a client, they’ve most often experienced using extrinsic motivation in regards to their health and diet. And unsurprisingly, any positive results they had in the past didn’t last very long. When I tell them they’ll soon naturally want to choose the healthier food options, it seems like an impossibility to them. Luckily, that mindset quickly changes.
Here’s how intrinsic motivation works: You just need to be willing to listen to your body’s signals for cause and effect. How do you do this? After you eat something, stop and listen to how your body feels. Write it down. How full are you? How’s your digestion? Your energy? Your mental clarity and mood? Then wait an hour or two and see how your body feels again. Did that food get digested and then crash your blood sugar? Are you ready for a nap or are you energized? Are you hungry again or fully satiated? Does your stomach feel too stuffed or bloated? Are you irritable? The next day, try a different food choice. How do you feel compared to the day before? LINK what you’re eating to how you’re feeling. When you bring awareness to your body, it’s hard to ignore. Otherwise you may be going months or years feeling badly without even acknowledging it.
I remember I went through a raw cashew phase as a snack every day. I looked forward to them, I loved the way they tasted, I was all about the raw cashews. I was actually in nutrition school at the time, and we were asked to track what we were eating for a few days and write down how the food made us feel. On the first day, I realized I had a slight stomachache after eating the cashews. The next day I listened again: slight stomachache. I listened for a few more days just to be sure that it was the cashews and not something I’d eaten before or after, and then I researched why and discovered that raw nuts are difficult for your body to break down and can cause a slight stomachache. I had ignored it because it was subtle, and because I loved the nuts so much. But that was the last time I ate raw cashews; not because someone told me not to, but because it didn’t feel good. Intrinsic motivation works because wanting to feel good starts to dictate your food choices.
The same thing happened to me with yogurt. I was convinced that yogurt was good for me because of the natural probiotics, even though I was struggling with digesting dairy in general. Every single day for years I ate it for lunch or as a snack, again a favorite food of mine. At some point I eventually had to admit that part of my digestive issues were coming after eating the yogurt. I cut the yogurt out, and immediately felt so much better.
Don’t let your intellect override what your body is telling you. First of all, your body is a brilliant bio-computer, so it would be silly to ignore this expertise. Second of all, this is the key to building intrinsic motivation. Our bodies’ wisdom is so powerful, that when you increase your awareness of how you feel and what your body wants, you’ll find that your body actually wants what’s good for you. What a relief!
I love that moment when a client comes to a session and says, “I really screwed up. I was eating really healthy, then I went to a party and ate xyz and it made me feel terrible.” They think they failed, but no, they’ve just gained the golden nugget: that inner body wisdom that will help them make sustainable healthy choices in the future.
I can’t tell you the amount of times that clients jokingly curse me, telling me they no longer want to participate in their office’s Friday doughnut hour anymore, or they skipped the cake at a birthday party because they didn’t feel like experiencing the energy crash after. Have I ruined birthday parties forever? Sorry, not sorry? This is intrinsic motivation at work. And because it’s coming from you, and not from some external authority figure or rule system that’s trying to control or deprive you, there’s very little resistance to it. You know what else is really amazing about it? It’s easy. No discipline required!
Once you get a baseline for naturally choosing the foods that make you feel the best, and leaving out the foods that don’t make you feel good, it will be easier and easier to hear your body’s reaction to foods it doesn’t like.
Here’s one catch, which I’ll address next time: cravings. You might find that occasionally you still crave the ‘bad’ stuff. This is not because your body wants to feel badly, it’s not because you’re ignoring your bodies’ inner wisdom (although it could be, so check that first), but rather your body is sending you a message, and you’re misinterpreting it. Stay tuned for my next blog post: how to deconstruct your cravings!
In the meantime, start listening to your very wise body. You might be surprised by what you hear!
Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash
One Response
Rakefet
Very insightful! Thank you!