Usually at the beginning of each year, we all assess the goals we want to accomplish, and then attempt to change our habits in order to reach those goals. I’ve always been fascinated by how habits actually change, and what makes them stick… or not. Because, like it or not, we’re already knee deep in our habits. They’re happening all day every day, in fact. The question is, do our habits make us feel good or bad? Do they bring us closer or further away from our goals? And how possible is it to change bad habits that are deeply ingrained, or to create new, more supportive habits?
Here’s some good news: Science shows us that, while the neural patterns for old habits can be deeply ingrained in our brain, if you practice new habits with consistency, new neural patterns will form in your brain and become strong enough to override the old ones. Recently, I’ve been reading the book, ‘The Power of Habit,’ by Charles Duhigg, where the author takes us through the history of scientific and psychological research and discovery in the area of habits. I highly recommend the book if you want to geek out on the details! Needless to say, the scientists who study the psychology of habits can identify the new neural patterns in brain scans, and then watch them override the old ones. So, if you’ve been feeling disempowered in trying to change your habits, know that it absolutely is possible! 
More good news relayed by Duhigg: The part of your brain that creates and holds habits is very dependable, so once you put the new habit in place, you shouldn’t have to think about it. It becomes automated and frees up your energy to concentrate on other things. This also means less need for will-power (yay)!
I always tell my clients that “what you do consistently determines your health.” Another way to say this is “your habits determine your health.” What’s your go-to breakfast for instance? Is it a sugary muffin or doughnut? What if you switched it out for a healthier choice? Think about how many times a week, a month, a year you’d be starting your day with a healthy meal? Changing course on that one habit could drastically change the trajectory of your health and your weight, like a ship that changes its course by just a degree, and ends up landing on a different continent.
Now that the benefits of changing your habits are clear, where does one begin?
Step One: Identify the one habit you want to change. In order to change a habit, you’ll first want to identify a habit that doesn’t feel good to you. Since one healthy habit can change your life, and since successfully changing one habit can give you fortitude for changing other habits in the future, just pick one to start. You can either pick the habit that would make the biggest difference for you (i.e. quitting smoking), or it could be a small habit to practice so you can feel more confident tackling the bigger ones afterwards. My suggestion would be to go for the one that would make the biggest difference in your life.
For me, I had a habit of waking up late every morning, which was getting worse and worse during the pandemic. I’m a complete night owl and I generally hate mornings. But my sleeping late was starting to make me feel really bad. I left myself with less sunlight during the day, less hours of productivity, and less motivation overall. I tried to will myself to get up earlier, but the habit of sleeping until a certain time (and then sleeping through my alarm) was so ingrained that it felt impossible to overcome, especially since there was nowhere I needed to be outside of my home during the pandemic. I decided that if I could wake up a couple hours earlier each day, that would have a hugely positive impact on my life. What’s the one habit that would make a difference for you?
Step Two: Understand what triggers the old habit and address it. When I work with clients on their cravings, the first thing we do is to notice when the craving is happening and what causes it. This knowledge gives you access to either get rid of the craving in the first place, or replace how you satisfy the craving (Step 4). For example if you realize that your work is causing you so much stress that you’re craving cookies throughout the day, the first thing to do is to address the stress at work. Are there situations that could be resolved? Communication that needs to be had? Systems that need to be altered? Work-load that needs to be delegated? Or, in extreme circumstances, perhaps it’s time for a new job altogether. If you’re able to address the real reason you reach for sweets (or an extra glass of wine, fast food, or your phone), then you’ve reduced the amount of times you’ll have the craving in the first place. Ask yourself what happens right before you engage in the habit that you’d like to change? That’s your clue.
Step Three: Identify the ‘reward’ that the habit gives you. Biting nails might give you stress relief. Smoking might give you an opportunity to connect socially. Over-eating might give you a sense of security. When you get used to having a particular reward attached to a habit, you start to crave that outcome (the hit of dopamine or endorphins or relaxation from your habit), further ingraining the habit.
Step Four: Replacement. If you’re unable to change or reduce what’s causing the craving (from Step Two), then you’ll want to replace what you do when you have the craving. There are two options here: One is to replace the food/item/habit with a healthier version (i.e., instead of a cookie, have an apple with peanut butter, or a piece of alternatively sweetened chocolate instead). The even better option is to replace the routine with something else entirely. If stress relief is what you’re craving, perhaps instead of walking to the kitchen to get a cookie, you go for a walk around the block, or you close your eyes and do a few minutes of deep breathing exercises. I had a friend who quit smoking by continuing to take ‘smoke breaks’ during the day, just without a cigarette. He would go outside for ten minutes and breathe deeply. He was addressing the trigger of work stress that would cause him to smoke a cigarette, and then replaced that habit with a new routine that still gave him the same reward: a break from work.
Duhigg says that with the craving-routine-reward loop, the craving might still be there, the reward can still be there, you just need to change the routine. And those new neural connections that form with the practice of the new routine will override the old ones, even if the craving itself remains.
P.S.- Once you create a successful routine, you can stack habits, like drinking a glass of water right after you brush your teeth (if your goal is to drink more water). And then you can stack on top of that, like taking that supplement you forget about with the water that you drink right after you brush your teeth.
Step Five: Belief. Once you’ve created your new habit and have started practicing it, you’ll need the glue that will hold it together. Duhugg, citing research on successful habits, writes, “Belief was the ingredient that made a reworked habit loop into a permanent behavior.” Do you believe you can change your habit? Hopefully reading this blog-post has helped boost your belief. If not, find someone who has achieved what you want to achieve (like quitting smoking), and talk to them about it so you know it’s possible. Find a person or group to support you, to hold you accountable, to encourage you. Or get a coach, who can provide accountability of course, but also so you can consistently be in conversation with someone who does believe you can do it! People need to believe they can change, and a community of two or more can help create that belief, as is evidenced by the success of support groups like AA.
So, how did my new ‘getting up earlier’ habit turn out? To support myself, I decided to hire a morning coach to make me accountable to waking up at what felt like an ungodly hour. I also started using the app ‘Alarmy,’ instead of the normal alarm on my phone which used to allow me to snooze. The new app makes me do math problems in order to turn the alarm off. Oddly, I now look forward to doing math in the morning rather than hitting the snooze button:) Once I created the new habit of getting up at the same time every day, being up in the morning not only started to feel good, but my body got used to it. I’ve successfully woken up at my new time every weekday (but one), for the entire month of January. This is honestly kind of a miracle for anyone who knows me. I still love the night-time, and haven’t totally ironed out the going to sleep early part, but that’s what February is for. 🙂
Now, go forth and create that habit that will support your goals and dreams!
And if you want to change your habitual thoughts about your body, join my 21 Days to Body Love challenge in February!
Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash
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